With Mother’s Day and Father’s Day just recently in the rear-view mirror, I wanted to take the opportunity in this month’s blog post to talk about a dual crisis in the country that you don’t hear much about.

That dual crisis involves the fact that:

1. The current growth of the U.S. population aged 65 and over, fueled by the aging Baby Boomer generation, is unprecedented

and

2. The younger family members of these aging adults are under a great deal of stress and strain as they try to assist their elderly parents in aging gracefully.

Unfortunately, this dual crisis is only likely to get worse.

That’s because, according to the Population Reference Bureau, “the number of Americans ages 65 and older is projected to increase from 58 million in 2022 to 82 million by 2050 (a 47% increase), and the 65-and-older age group’s share of the total population is projected to rise from 17% to 23%.”

As a direct result of these trends, elderly people are being cared for in skilled nursing facilities, assisted living facilities, or senior living facilities in unprecedented numbers.

In my work, I often see situations where seniors are moved out of their homes initially for rehab after an injury or even just because someone at the hospital or the skilled nursing facility said that they could not live by themselves. So, after rehab, they’re placed in a different facility rather than being allowed to return to their homes.

The results of these situations are often devastating and heartbreaking. These people often become disoriented, sad, and depressed. They miss their homes and their pets. Many of them take a sharp downturn in their mental and physical health.

And the saddest part of the situation is that no one really wants it to be this way. For example, according to U.S. News & World Report, “93% of adults 55 and older agree that aging in place is an important goal for them.” And most of us who have elderly parents would prefer that they be able to remain at home and not have to move into a facility.

Of course, there are many reasons why achieving that goal is challenging.

Sometimes family members live far away from their elderly parents, making regular visits difficult or impossible. Even when they live close enough to their aging parents to help out, they often struggle with the day-to-day logistics of balancing their own personal lives with trying to support their parents.

Eventually, all of these challenges lead to caregiver fatigue and burnout, driving many of them to give in and move their parents into a facility, even though they don’t really want to and doing so places a financial burden on them. It’s a sad situation all around.

In this post, I’d like to explore the challenges involved in such situations and suggest a possible solution: a service that I believe offers a viable alternative that allows caregivers to escape compassion fatigue while allowing their parents to age in place gracefully.

Why “Aging in Place” Matters

First, let’s talk about the benefits of keeping your parents in their own home.

There are three major reasons why having your elderly parents age in place is preferable to moving them into a facility:

• Emotional Benefits–Staying in a familiar environment allows elderly parents to remain close to pets, routines, and cherished memories.
• Physical & Mental Health Benefits—So often, I’ve seen people go downhill both mentally and physically shortly after entering a facility. This happens when the move is devastating emotionally, causing them to withdraw, become isolated, and often simply give up. Allowing aging parents to remain in the home can help them stay mentally sharp and physically healthy longer.
• Financial Benefits—There are significant cost savings to keeping elderly parents in the home as opposed to paying for them to stay in an assisted living facility or nursing home.

Real Challenges Caregivers Face

Of course, there are also significant challenges to keeping aging parents in their own homes. In my experience, these are probably the top three:

• Remote Management & Logistics—As I’ve already mentioned, caregivers face significant challenges trying to balance their own lives while simultaneously checking in regularly on their again parents. And it goes far beyond just “checking in.” Caregivers often have to manage their parents’ doctor’s visits as well as more routine home tasks—often from a distance.
• Safety & Emergency Risks—One of the biggest fears caregivers have is that their loved ones will suffer a fall or some other mishap or experience a sudden health emergency and they won’t know about it until many hours have passed.
• Caregiver Fatigue—Often called “compassion fatigue,” this is the very real emotional and logistical burn-out caregivers experience from caring so deeply for their loved ones over long stretches of time—often years.

Taken together, these challenges often drive caregivers to give in eventually and move their parents into a facility, even when they don’t really want to. And just as bad, they often feel a deep sense of guilt and regret for having to do so.

Avoiding the Move: Essentials for Safe Independent Living

In the previous two sections, I’ve covered (1) why it’s so important to keep aging parents in their homes, and (2) the factors that make achieving this goal so difficult.

The fact is, it is difficult—no use in sugar-coating it—but it’s not impossible. If certain conditions are met, keeping your elderly loved ones in their own homes becomes much more manageable.

Here are four key areas that need to be addressed to make life at home for your elderly parents more sustainable:

• Home Assessment and Modifications—While your parents might be able to stay in their homes, that doesn’t mean they’ll be able to do so safely without a few changes. These might include changes such as grab bars to help them get around the house and in and out of the tub or shower safely or improved lighting to help them more easily navigate around furniture.
• Reliable In-Home Help—They might need help preparing and cooking meals, transportation to go shopping, or getting to and back home from medical appointments.
• Technology—Tech tools might need to be employed such as alert systems, medication reminders, or methods of communication. Training might also be necessary to make sure they’re able to use the technology the way it’s intended to be used.
• Financial Planning—Insurance plans should be evaluated, and long-term care funds should be set aside.

When these four areas of concern are all addressed and regularly monitored, the chances of an elderly adult being able to remain in their home for the long haul are greatly increased. That’s not to say, of course, that it’s a simple matter to take care of all of these issues.

Enter My Circle: A Smart Solution

If you’re in a position where you’d like your aging parents to be able to live life at home for as long as possible, but your own life situation makes taking care of them difficult, if not impossible to do, there is a middle ground between trying to do it all by yourself and giving up and having to admit them to an assisted living facility or senior living facility.

I’ve found a company here in St. Louis called My Circle that I highly recommend in such situations. While you may not live in the St. Louis area, there may well be a company in your area that offers similar services.

Here’s some basic information about the company:

What My Circle Offers

• They offer a personalized Life at Home Plan™,” a roadmap for home safety, finances, care coordination, and more.
• In addition, they provide a Member Advocate for each family, a person who listens, plans, and coordinates services for the family.

Clear Benefits

• My Circle provides peace of mind for adult children managing from afar.
• Their services keep parents independent, supported, and socially connected.
• My Circle’s program is financially sound. Their plan costs are much less than assisted living fees.

How My Circle Works

They use a three-step process that ensures each family has a plan that works for everyone involved:

1. Listen: A My Circle representative talks with the family to understand goals, concerns, and household needs.
2. Plan: They then create a customized Life at Home Plan™ with expert advice tailored to the family’s unique situation.
3. Activate & Track: Finally, they help the family implement the plan and monitor and adjust as life evolves.

What Does it Cost? Understanding the Investment

There’s a one-time planning fee of $1,000 to set up a personalized Life at Home™ plan for the family. The plan covers home safety, finances, wellness, and daily living.

If you need ongoing support, the cost is only $300 per month. Compared to an assisted living facility, My Circle saves you thousands of dollars a month, making this one of the smartest investments you’ll ever make.

Is My Circle Right for Your Family?

Of course, no one can answer that question for you. Family situations differ greatly. That said, My Circle’s program is…

• Great for adult children managing care from afar.
• Ideal if you want structured, flexible support rather than full-time care.
• Best if you’d like proactive planning and vendor-verified services overseen by an advocate.

If that sounds like a good fit for your family’s needs, then it makes sense to take the next step and book a free consultation with My Circle to explore creating a Life at Home Plan™ for your loved one.

A planning call costs nothing, but could give you and your family clarity, security, and the gift of independent living.